Myspace

Myspace is one of the oldest social networking sites and has been around since the dark ages. Given enough time i suppose any pool will go moldy but just the sheer volume of nutters on myspace is astonishing. From tattooed loonies to hairy trucker, they are all featured on myspace in their droves. Its like the benefits system has opened its flood gates and they all found food and shelter on myspace.

The fact that there is such a huge range of drains on society here that it makes it almost impossible to pin down an accurate description.

Your average myspace addict will consider themselves to be experts in anything to do with music….And it doesnt even matter if they know anything about it they will still insist they know everything about music. They will be between the age of 16 and 23 and probably have long hair and at least one piercing. A beard may be present but don’t let this fool you into thinking they are intellectuals.

Looks: A pathetic 2/10

Odor: 1/10

Personality: 5/10, they may be ok to get along with when so far away

Verdict: Avoid physical contact at all cost. High risk of scabies and other dirty skin ……errr things.

Bebo

As a general rule the only people that stick with myspace for more than a couple of months are:

a) people that have something to plug or sell.

OR

b) the mentally disabled.

Most of these degenerates soon believe that they are too mature or too intelligent to waste time hanging with the myspace hippies and move onto Bebo. Bebo was founded in 2005 by a husband and wife team, whose name is completely un-pronouncable.

It is immediately obvious that this is a myspace type site….I nearly said copy then, but as I said before Bebo is for the more mature layabout/student. See myspace for a description of a Bebo’ite.

Looks: 3/10, With the maturity of the crowd, we feel it is more of a milf fest.

Odor: 2/10

Personality: 6/10, A little more mature than your average myspacer.

Verdict: Better than myspace but you will still bump into people who look homeless.

Digg

Although many people do, I dont really consider digg to be a social networking site at all. Started in 2004 by rosey it is more of a news site where users swap links to articles, photos and videos. Sounds quite useful in principle. It gets boring quite quickly because a lot of the links are just spam.

There are 3 types of diggers.

1. They take it all very seriously and will report abuse under any circumstances.

This is the worse kind of digger and should be avoided at all costs. They will grass you up to the admin section quicker than you can say ‘I shaged yo momma’. They take ‘their’ digg site very seriously and should really be institutionalized or have all their fingers removed so they can no longer type complaints about everything.

2. They use it to spam or promote their own stuff.

These are generally web site owners that want to push their own content to the top of the pile. There are whole websites and tutorials written about this. In my opinion the vast majority of digg submitters fall into this category and should be banned. STOP SPAMMING DIGG!

3. Big yellow ones that are used to build things.

These are the friendliest of all the diggers and without doubt the most useful! However, approach with caution if it is moving as they are known to cause bodily harm.

There doesnt seem to be an in between when it comes to diggers, they are either very friendly or very rude, probably best to avoid them all. Most are ‘pretty boy’ types and spend hours in front of the mirror every day. Get over it, you cant polish a turd.

I cant even bring myself to give the diggers a rating, just avoid them at all costs, its not worth the hassle, they are probably all self obsessed loonies.

Facebook

Facebook was also launched in 2004 and the founder also has a weird name, is this a co-incidence?

Originally facebook was a limited service and would only allow lazy students access to its services. But word soon spread in the bone-idle underworld of the homeless and poor and before long every man and his stray dog wanted in on it.

Facebook stretches the entire spectrum of users but it is still basically about wasting time. The facebook users seem to enjoy sending each other pictures of penis’s in a frying pan and other obscene crap that no-body really wants to see more than once.

Whilst on facebook it will be difficult to spot the diggers and myspace users without engaging in conversation, is it worth the risk? NO, log off immediately and never visit again!

Eventually the gene pool will wipe out these drains on society but for now just sit tight and leave the house to socialize, this way you wont end up wasting hours talking to some homeless, smelly geek….Unless you live in Russia, which i believe has a big problem with the homeless.

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